It’s my favorite song . . . “In Christ Alone.” It always has been, ever sense the very first time my ears tuned into the melody. I would find myself on YouTube searching for Chris Tomlin, Owl City, or some random singer who had picked up the sheet and read the chords. Soon I had it memorized, but when your obsessed with something it gets old. That’s what happened with me. I still loved the song, but the meaning had disappeared. Then I woke up one day and I listened to it, for real. The first time in a while when I just listened and found myself asking questions. Was what I was singing true? Did I really believe it . . . with my heart?
I have the privilege to be called a child of God. Lately, though, I’ve seemed to lose sight of my king. I know He is there, that’s not the problem . . . I am. I’ve been warned about this. When my faith transitions. No longer will I live under the faith of my parents. That is where the young me took refuge. They told me and I believed. I didn’t have a reason not to. I’ve matured now. I need to seek truth for myself. I’ll dig for truth to find my own faith, I’ll grow a mustard seed. It will be hard to find the facts. Even harder will be the ability to keep a strong relationship with my savior. That has already began to falter. Then there is the factor of the enemy. He is aware of my unsteady standing and he will do all in his power to lead me away from Christ. Every moment will be in a battle against him and my doubt. (I guess I’m kind of hesitant to call it that. Doubt. I’m not sure if that is what it is, for the moment though, I will call it that.) Together they will be hard to defeat. I know, though, that God will always be there to help guide me in paths of righteousness (Psalms 23:3). I know that He will never leave me nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6). I’ll just have to remember to ask Him. And when I do, the words in the song become truth “No power of Hell, no scheme of man, can every pluck me from his hand.”
As I continue my journey, when “Growing a Mustard Seed” is becoming me, I hope that I will be in the arms of my Lord. I hope that when I sing “In Christ Alone” I will sing the words straight from my heart. Every meaning of every phrase will be truth to me. And I pray that every song that comes through my mouth will follow the same pattern, that I won’t worship with my lips and not my heart (Isaiah 29:13). But I don’t want my praise to stop there. I want to glorify him in everything that I do (1 Corinthians 10:31). I want every move I make, every word I speak, to be a testimony of God’s truth. I want people to look at me and I want them to know that I am who I am . . . In Christ Alone.
In Christ Alone ~Eleyana