I had a fall on Friday….emotionally. My burdens had been building into a mountain for quite some time and that fateful day was when I finally fell from the peak.
The day started rough and continued on from there, and towards the end I had to go to one of those events that so often crowd up our lives.
It was supposed to be a fun event. An ice-cream social, in fact, and it started out very joyful indeed. However, as the night progressed so did my pain. I was ailing and I didn’t know what to do.
I went to my mom searching for sympathy and instead she admonished me. All day my emotions had been on the edge of explosion, and my mother’s rebuke finally caused my eruption.
I fled to the car hoping to find compensation through tears, but it did not come.
I cannot tell you why I was crying because I don’t know the reason. I guess that it was just a build up of everything that has been happening to me.
I wasn’t angry,
I was grieving. Grieving for my hardships. Not unthankful or unexcepting of what God had placed in my life, just burdened by it.
I didn’t even ask why God had placed so many trials in my life because I already knew the answer. Somehow, through some way, it eventually will bring Him glory and will bring me good. Everything always does.
So here I was, crying for no reason really, just crying. Crying over an emotion I could not name. Crying because of my burdens that I am continually excepting, with grace, from my unchanging King, and while this all happened I felt so alone.
I looked toward the building, from inside my car, longing more then ever that someone who cared about me would come looking for me, and upon finding me would provide a shoulder to cry on.
In hope, I hoped against hope, and for once my timing matched up with God’s. He provided the perfect gift through a dear friend who came to my side and helped me carry my burdens.
Oh how thankful I was for her! How thankful I was that she cared and searched me out when I was missing! How thankful I am that she helped me carry my burden through prayer and encouragement!
We talked, Oh how we talked, and God gave her the words I needed to take a brave step out of the car…..God carried me the rest of the way, back into the building. And He hasn’t put me down yet!
Through this trial I had vision. Vision in knowing that even though things are hard God is still watching over me.
Yes, it would have been easy to question God, to get upset at Him for choosing me for such a burden. But, that would have proved fruitless…and foolish.
Instead, I choose to except and thank Him for these trials. He will not give me something that I cannot handle, and I am blessed to know that He trusts me enough to carry on until the end.
To Him be the glory forever and ever!
In Christ Alone~EleyanaFaith