A Letter to Pastors: From a Frustrated Young Lady

Dear Pastors,

To those of you who have spoken out boldly and brazenly about the men in your churches, to those of you have given admonition, correction, and called men to a higher standard in encouragement, thank you for caring about the soul status of our brothers in Christ. Thank you for pointing them to scripture and leading them in it. But in all honesty, I am frustrated. I am frustrated that you do not care that much about the spiritual state of the women under your care. I am frustrated that you do not treat them with the same uncompromising love. I have been under your teaching in presence, on YouTube, and through books and I have sat there hearing you rail on men while doing nothing of the sort to women. Instead you praise us. You tickle our ears with lies about how perfect we are. How we serve and love God. How most of us are spiritually stronger than the men (1 Peter 3:7). You call men out on indulging in pornography, yet you ignore that the women in your church flaunt in their immodesty (Matthew 18:6-7, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, 1 Timothy 2:9). You call men out for neglecting their families because of their work, yet you ignore that many women are also spending too much time at work and neglecting the home (Titus 2:4-5). You call men out on not being loving to their wives, yet you ignore that many women are not submitting to their husbands (Ephesians 5:24-25). You call out men for spending too much time playing video games, yet you ignore that many women waste equal amount of hours upon the internet (Ephesians 5:16). You call men lazy, passive, inattentive, and immature, yet ignore that many women are selfish, controlling, boastful, and busybodies (1 Timothy 5:13). I do not deny that much of what you say to the men is truth, and they need to hear it. You love them by telling them the truth. But likewise, we women need to hear it just as much as the men. And you do not love us by ignoring the truth. You are compromising that truth by listening to the lies of the world. A world that pushes women to be the equal of men in all things. Or, in many cases, the superior to them. I beg of you to stop falling prey to such deception. Men have their roles (of which you speak freely) and women have theirs. Call us to it! Call us to the standard and truth of scripture as you call the men. Admonish, correct, and encourage us in the same way you do the men. Do not tickle our ears, but give us the truth boldly and brazenly as you do the men. For once in my life I want to hear a pastor give me the what for… I need it.

Sincerely, a sister in Christ


One thought on “A Letter to Pastors: From a Frustrated Young Lady

  1. blackbcg says:

    Wow Eleyana! You know, I think you really opened my eyes to some truths that even I, as just an individual and not a pastor, failed to see. I guess I just always assumed it was the women’s job to do that and maybe the husbands…
    But, I do believe you are right with this and justified in your frustration.
    Ultimately, you are absolutely right… To withhold the truth is to withhold love to someone or a group of people.
    I will be praying regarding this, that the Holy Spirit would fill our pastors with boldness and courage to love our sisters with truth and with out fear of consequence or backlash or any other pc accusations birthed from the world…
    Thank you for speaking out on your conviction…


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