What Love is This

Feelings fast, not true

Flutter past in fleeting dream

What love is this

In current strong

My thoughts are drowned

In quizzical throng

Both doubts and daydreams

Clutter view

Make my logic seem untrue

To remain faithful yet

Within my heart or in my head?

These clash in battle

But alas, in this, one must win

And today a gruesome battle won

My heart the standing champion

But what of my cautious mind?

No, they cannot disagree

These powers must align in unity

To prove my feelings

Not fast, but true

My mind must also steadfast be

To the ever pestering test

What love is this?

The most precious best

 

In Christ Alone~EleyanaFaith

Present Blindness

The Lord, He knows

But I do not

I’m fraught with ignorance

Perhaps this present blindness,

though,

Is His blessing in disguise

He’s using it to teach me

Using it to guide me

That I might trust Him

More and more

As passes day by day

I’m once again

Told by Him to wait

The Tongue

Oh words, you flow too fast

Spilling from my lips like foam

 

Oh mouth, you are unguarded

Why do you hang agap

 

Oh mind, you know not what was said

How easily your thoughts have run astray

 

Oh heart, your hurt is too readily shared

Too open, on display for all to see

 

Do you not realize that what you speak

Has such strong effect

On the souls of those you meet

 

Are you so oblivious to believe

When your thoughts are free spoken

They won’t haunt you and you won’t flee

 

When silence comes

Your lips are still

You wait impatiently

Your heart beats continual unrest

You feel anxiety rise within your chest

For your gossip has betrayed a friend

And in the quiet lull that replaces company

Your stomach turns nervously

And you wished what had been said

Hadn’t been

 

A lesson to be learned

From the beast the Word of God has warned

To be the fire breathing dragon

Lifting Holy Hands

Worship just gets into the soul of me. It sheds a brilliant, blazing light into my heart no matter how dark the surrounding circumstances might be.

God filled my heart with worship and I find no greater happiness and joy than this.

I find my peace on my knees, lifting hands of empty transparency.

Isn’t it interesting that in one of Paul’s letters to Timothy the acclaimed author states, “I desire that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands…” (1 Timothy 2:8)

A command to lift up your hands in praise?

I stumbled upon this a while ago in my studying and scribbled in my bible what the commentary said.

“From ancient times, upraised hands have revealed both praise and petition. The Hebrews used their hands to express both their dependence on God and their respect for him. Lifting their hands symbolized an expectant attitude and trust in God – that he would fill their empty hands with his blessings.” (Quest Study Bible)

These hands, like baskets, asking God to fill them with His absolute goodness. 

But first they have to be emptied of any earthly desire. Because sometimes we dare to reach up to the heavens hands that, at the same time, are reaching toward sin and the world. 

When I stand, or kneel, with my hands uplifted I’ll whisper a prayer up to the heavens, “God what I have now I don’t want anymore. Replace my sin and earthly gain with grace and love. Fill my hands with your blessing.

“I have nothing good to offer You, nothing worthy, but what I can give is yours.”

There is this phrase from a mighty hymn that fills my heart and it spills over; Here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above. 

“Here’s my heart, Lord.” And I lift my cupped hands up.

And my uplifted hands declare, “I’m dependent on YOU.”

Three guitars strum a praise filled chorus in the background. The acoustic sound surrounding me and filling my head with the trustworthy chorus, “This is Amazing Grace. This is unfailing love.”

This is the glory of what God fills our empty hands with, restores our wanting hearts with.

How can we help but turn our glory filled goodness back into worship towards His wondrous throne.

“Worthy is the Lamb who was slain. Worthy is the King who conquers the grave.”

And I laugh in wonder as I watch my sister proclaim this with her strong God-gift of a voice.

 

 

In Christ Alone~EleyanaFaith

 

“Let us examine and probe our ways, And let us return to the LORD. We lift up our heart and hands Toward God in heaven…” (Lamentation 3:40-41)

“Behold, bless the LORD, all servants of the LORD, Who serve by night in the house of the LORD! Lift up your hands to the sanctuary And bless the LORD.” (Psalm 134:1-2)

So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands.” (Psalm 63:2-4)

Facades and Focus

In moments of wanting to impress, I believe we all run to our phony personas of, “Look at me, I’m so great!”

To me, that means trying to appear older than I am.

A lot of people have looked down on me because of my young age. Because of this, I like to mask myself through fancy words and worldly speak. Pretending that the way I talk and act can change who I am and make me more appealing to those who are watching.

My facade moments tend to backfire on me, however.

Right when I think I’m pulling it off and, “I look so cool…” I slip upon my masquerading dress and fall clumsily to the down-to-earth reality.

 

Nope. I really am not that cool.

Nope. I really am not that great.

Who am I trying to impress anyway?

 

A moment like this happened to me in my favorite coffee shop.

After my embarrassing account, I picked myself up in shame. I hid my face under my hair and began furiously writing in my notebook.

My Bible laid open on the table and I glanced over to it. A highlighted verse captured my attention and I read it.

“For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at last he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. My heart faints within me!” – Job 19:25

It was a flash back to this morning in the car, praying earnestly that God would be in the forefront of my life. That He alone would be the apple of my eye.

“God, whom I shall see … and not another”

My furious writing turned into a prayer to God…

Dear Lord,

My heart is not at rest! I just did a stupidly silly thing in front of some people and I feel so anxious about it. My thoughts keep wandering to what they might now think of me. Because of it, I’m realizing how utterly proud I am. I’m trying to puff myself up into something I’m not just because of some ridiculous, vain imaginations! I’m not being humble or content in simply being who I am. I’m looking for men’s approval instead of remembering I DON’T NEED IT! You are MORE than enough for me! Help me to own that! I don’t want to get caught up in the world. I want to keep my heart fixed and stayed on you.

I began searching for more scripture to affirm me in this.

Psalm 62:11-12, “Once God has spoken; twice have I heard this; that power belongs to God, and that to you, O LORD, belongs steadfast love.”

I turned back to my note-book page.

God, I want holy blinders on. Something to protect my heart from going astray by simply glancing at the world. I want to see Your face as something so blindingly beautiful that I can’t take my heart and desire off seeking you. That I would be like a child. That nothing else would matter, because You would be worth so much more to me! That You alone would I love!

A little peace came to my heart and I was able to put my focus in place.

I found a jewel in scripture and wrote it down.

I’m planning to memorize this one… How important this is! How much I desperately want this to be true for me!

“O God, YOU are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live, in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” – Psalm 63:1-8

In Christ Alone~EleyanaFaith

Make Me a Child

I want to be a child, Lord

An infant dependent on Your hand

I want to be vulnerable

Led by You as a shepherd leads his lamb

 

I want to hold on to You

With a childish simplicity

Only ever caring

As to where You are guiding me

 

I want to cry to You, Lord

To be lifted in Love’s embrace

And when I worry

To be covered with the blanket of Your grace

 

I want to look to You, Lord

When my soul begins to hunger

Then, I shall be satisfied

Fed by Your word of power

 

Oh, Lord, make me a child

So I rest in You alone

Make me a child

So You alone I own

 

 

In Christ Alone~EleyanaFaith